a scared caged animal. I found myself feeling sorry
for him. The Lord told me, Love him! Be
compassionate yet firm. Let him know you care.
He's scared here! I told Ryan I knew it must be scary
to enter a new school where everything was so
different. It must be scary to think people really care
especially after being burned by people who should
love and take care of you. But we do care. He began
to swallow hard and tears filled his eyes. He tried
with all his strength to hold up the tough guy
image. I left him alone to think since he wasn't
ready to talk. After three minutes, I went back in.
This tough kid began to pace and talk. Ryan's mom
deserted him years ago. Dad is borderline abusive.
Ryan had made it this far by being tough. He was
afraid to let people in. But he let me in. He talked for
a long time.
hadn't wanted to know this side of the kid; I wanted
to throw him into time out, to let him know who
was boss. But, I listened. I was there to love and get
inside a hurting boy. Wow! Lord, I'm turned in and
ready to be your servant again. Your insight
surpasses mine.
the world. The challenges in life are numerous and
the rewards affirm our work. Here is a story about
an educator's interaction with a student that
resulted in a different outcome than she expected.
stood completely still as I waited, not knowing
what was going to happen next. Ryan had only
been in our program for two days and I hadn't
yet received his full information. My mind raced
to remember all that was discussed at his intake.
He had been expelled from his school for
possession of a weapon on campus and he had
bragged about a confrontation with a police
officer.
breath and see the dilation of his eyes. He was
MAD! Could he see my heart beating rapidly in
my throat? Could he hear the tremor in my voice?
Did Ryan know I was afraid of him?
expect students to come in to the Day Treatment
program and be fairly calm the first few days. It's
the "honeymoon period," as we say. But Ryan's
was coming to a quick reality. During a feedback
session, when we discuss the behavior of the
student, Ryan refused to cooperate. I told him
that refusal to cooperate would mean isolation in
our time out room. He became indignant and
there I was, nose to nose. I had Mary call security
for back up and remove the other students. Was
he going to swing at me? Could I control him if it
came to a physical confrontation?
my heart. Ryan could have hit me, but he chose to
walk to the table and slam a chair. Then he yelled,
"You're not locking me up?" We explained the
procedure to Ryan, letting him know he would
not be "locked" in any room and, after a few
minutes, he chose to cooperate. He went into
time out.
to go talk with him. I was scared. I didn't know
what to expect from him. Once in the confines of
the 6' x 8' room, would he swing at me? I wanted
to verbally hit this kid hard and fast. He was
going to learn that I was the boss and that this
behavior would never happen again. But the
Lord had another plan.
breath and see the dilation
of his eyes. He was MAD!